I wanna bring you to show and tell
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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