You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
