problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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