it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you would pick up someone in the library
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize