I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
