It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The power of my boobs compel you
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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