Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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