Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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