Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
