Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize