Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
