if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
