Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize