these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
