i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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