just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
