I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
