we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
