Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
