Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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