She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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