i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
