Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
