Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize