She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In other news, I just burned my penis
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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