if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
