Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
