Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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