That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
