my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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