there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You made out with two different species that night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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