So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
