I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
