his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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