I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just google imaged poop.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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