I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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