it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
