If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
