Do you still have your period?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
