she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
