I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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