Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
