so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
