Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
