he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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