Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
