who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
