She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
