Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
