I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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