Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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