she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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