Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
