where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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