yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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