is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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