and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
