I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No subtext here. People are naked.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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