She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
