Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
