Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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