it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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