TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
