she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
