We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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