I'm jealous of your bromance
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
