oh god the rape fog is back!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
