Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
